Day Twelve: Coffee

"Drink Coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy."

I pinned this saying to my pinterest account awhile back. It was a funny joke. Ha! It's an exaggeration right?

I love coffee. I have always loved coffee. I grew up in Latin America for goodness sake. I started drinking my dad's espresso when I was five years old. I googled adjectives to describe coffee and this is what I got..."It's hot, smooth, aromatic, floral, bold, rich, and brisk." Yum! I even became a barista. It is the best job I have ever had next to being a kindergarten teacher.

Caffeine has never affected me until this last year. I used to say that holding my caffeine was my super power. I could drink a double espresso an hour before bedtime and not blink an eye. I couldn't, I would already be asleep.

But this last year something weird started happening to my body. I turned forty-four and I couldn't tolerate the caffeine anymore. What??!!! (said through sobs) I began to feel really bad every afternoon and it wasn't until I quit drinking coffee that it got better.

At this point an inspiring blog would say that I quit drinking coffee and have felt amazing ever since. Well, hopefully you know me well enough by now to know that a great big confession is about to pop up. I didn't want to let it go. So I changed coffee brands and that helped a bit. I only drink coffee in the morning and I can tolerate it better now. However, it's not exactly as good as I feel when I am completely on the wagon.

Ok, so fast forward to a couple of days ago. I drank a big (BIG) cup of coffee at three o'clock in the afternoon to give me some energy for the evening. I had already had a cup in the morning, so this was my second cup...yes, yes, the second cup that I'm not supposed to have...and yes, yes, the afternoon coffee that I'm not supposed to have.

That night I was so wired that I could hardly be civil to people. Do you remember that scene in Captain America where Dr. Erskine says, "The serum amplifies everything that is inside. So good becomes great and bad becomes worse." Well, my "serum" amplified everything that was bad in me. 


Seriously, I argued with people and gave my opinion to every little conversation without regard to how offensive I was being. Ugh! I look back on that night and want to take it all back. My poor husband got the brunt of the Mr. Hyde in me. Poor guy. But it wasn't just Louie that I was ugly to. There were some dear friends that got the tip of my overly wired impatient, sarcastic self. And worst of all I was outwardly angry with some people that don't know Jesus.

Do you ever have one of those nights? I am responsible for my behavior. The coffee didn't make me do it. It just enhanced it a bit. The sin was mine. I have since gone to Louie and one of my friends to confess and ask forgiveness. There are a couple more I need to see and I will especially go to my young friend that doesn't know Jesus and ask her to forgive me.

This is my ugly truth. But life on the Way is not about being perfect. It's about making things right at all costs. And about following Jesus in His kindness, His mercy and His forgiveness.

"But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." (Titus 3:4) Thanks be to Jesus!

Love from the islands,
Twyla