Day Nine: A Call to Families

God sets the lonely in families... Psalm 68:6


Yesterday I called single women to connect to a family they respect to help with loneliness. But as I thought through that advice it struck me that many would find that intimidating. Initiating a relationship or asking for a family to care for them and invest in them would be awkward. I still stand by that advice as I think it is important to put yourselves in places you can meet and get to know families (as in a small group or serving at a fellowship). But I think the bulk of the responsibility for investing in lonely people falls on the families themselves.


When my kiddos were small I struggled with the prevailing "spiritual" teaching of that time, "my family is my ministry." On the surface this has an appearance of wisdom. We should care for our families. We should make them a priority. But the underlying thought is, "I am exempt from other responsibilities because I am caring for a family." How will our children learn to love others, serve others and bear with others if they do not see it lived out in our own lives? Now, before you get angry with me, :/ let me say that I am not talking about leading a time consuming ministry in your fellowship. I am talking of looking for those around you that need the love of a family. Can I give you some examples?

• When I was in high school we lived near a big Naval base. During the holidays my mom would have young men over who had no where else to go. That example has influenced me so much. I long for the lonely ones around me to have a place to call home during the holidays. My mom did not lead a great ministry, she worked full time. But she left a great legacy in my life to look for the lonely. 

• My dad was always trying to get us to serve at homeless shelters. As teenagers we were very resistant. But one year he forced us to go on Thanksgiving. Of course it was a knock in the head for me. I later worked in an inner city with all kinds of homeless people. My mom and dad's convictions were that their family was their ministry. Their ministry was to teach us how to love and serve the lonely. They shaped me and my siblings to be outward focused and to reach out beyond ourselves.

• My sister takes her kids to clean and work in an inner city school. She has taken responsibility to invest in a girl at that school. For at least 5 years she has been her friend, provided her needs and shared Jesus with her.  

• When Chloe and Sam were babies we had international students live with us. Yes, it was more work and yes there were times I wanted it to be just Louie, the kids and me. But there were also times of great joy as we got to know these young people and introduced them to the love of Jesus and the love of a family. Chloe and Sam were introduced to new cultures and new food. They loved these students who gave me time to cook dinner many nights because they played with my babies.

• I love the trend these days in followers of Jesus to legally adopt children. It is biblical and it is beautiful.

Dear friends, this is SO important. There is a world of lonely people desperate for the love of a family. Allowing people into our lives can disturb our schedules, take our energy and drive us crazy. But is there anything more glorious than giving up my desires to follow Him?

What are your giftings and passions? How can you use those to bless others? Here are some ideas of how to serve others with your children. This is just a small list:

1. Take a meal to a sick neighbor.
2. Invite a single to your home for dinner. Consider investing in them. Go for coffee, play games...
3. Take a meal to homeless person who is begging.
4. Invite those who have no place to go for the holidays into your traditions.
5. Find out about international students in your area. Go looking for them. They don't know how to find you.
6. What can you do for a single mom? Mow her lawn? Watch her kids? Give her a day to herself?
7. Find a refugee ministry and volunteer.

I want my children to see me care for others, have them in my home, serve them and love them. I want them to know that Jesus is real, His Word is real and following Him is an adventure. It's a risk. It's life-giving.

Love from the islands,
Twyla